Notice (8): Undefined index: last_visit [APP/View/Elements/users/top_profile.ctp, line 152]
Code Context
            <div style="font-size: 11px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 3px; line-height: 16px;">
            <em ><?php echo ucfirst(__('Last Visit')) ?> :
            <?php echo $this->Application->timeAgo($this->time, $user_obj['User']['last_visit']) ?></em>
$viewFile = '/www/wwwroot/social/app/View/Elements/users/top_profile.ctp'
$dataForView = array(
	'user_object' => array(),
	'user_menu' => object(Menu) {
		useTable => false
		id => ''
		menu_class => false
		links => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		)
		selected => false
		useDbConfig => 'default'
		displayField => null
		data => array([maximum depth reached])
		schemaName => null
		table => false
		primaryKey => null
		validate => array([maximum depth reached])
		validationErrors => array([maximum depth reached])
		validationDomain => null
		tablePrefix => null
		plugin => null
		name => null
		alias => null
		tableToModel => array([maximum depth reached])
		cacheQueries => false
		belongsTo => array([maximum depth reached])
		hasOne => array([maximum depth reached])
		hasMany => array([maximum depth reached])
		hasAndBelongsToMany => array([maximum depth reached])
		actsAs => null
		Behaviors => null
		whitelist => array([maximum depth reached])
		cacheSources => true
		findQueryType => null
		recursive => (int) 1
		order => null
		virtualFields => array([maximum depth reached])
		__backAssociation => array([maximum depth reached])
		__backInnerAssociation => array([maximum depth reached])
		__backOriginalAssociation => array([maximum depth reached])
		__backContainableAssociation => array([maximum depth reached])
		__safeUpdateMode => false
		useConsistentAfterFind => true
		findMethods => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		)
		class => 'top-menu'
		[protected] _schema => null
		[protected] _associationKeys => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		)
		[protected] _associations => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		)
		[protected] _insertID => null
		[protected] _sourceConfigured => false
		[protected] _eventManager => null
		[protected] _validator => null
	},
	'menu' => object(Menu) {
		useTable => false
		id => 'nav'
		menu_class => false
		links => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		)
		selected => '/profile/ilonmelkonyan'
		useDbConfig => 'default'
		displayField => null
		data => array([maximum depth reached])
		schemaName => null
		table => false
		primaryKey => null
		validate => array([maximum depth reached])
		validationErrors => array([maximum depth reached])
		validationDomain => null
		tablePrefix => null
		plugin => null
		name => null
		alias => null
		tableToModel => array([maximum depth reached])
		cacheQueries => false
		belongsTo => array([maximum depth reached])
		hasOne => array([maximum depth reached])
		hasMany => array([maximum depth reached])
		hasAndBelongsToMany => array([maximum depth reached])
		actsAs => null
		Behaviors => null
		whitelist => array([maximum depth reached])
		cacheSources => true
		findQueryType => null
		recursive => (int) 1
		order => null
		virtualFields => array([maximum depth reached])
		__backAssociation => array([maximum depth reached])
		__backInnerAssociation => array([maximum depth reached])
		__backOriginalAssociation => array([maximum depth reached])
		__backContainableAssociation => array([maximum depth reached])
		__safeUpdateMode => false
		useConsistentAfterFind => true
		findMethods => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		)
		class => 'nav navbar-nav'
		[protected] _schema => null
		[protected] _associationKeys => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		)
		[protected] _associations => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		)
		[protected] _insertID => null
		[protected] _sourceConfigured => false
		[protected] _eventManager => null
		[protected] _validator => null
	},
	'featured_classifieds' => array(
		(int) 0 => array(
			'Classified' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'ClassifiedPhoto' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		)
	),
	'spotlight_classifieds' => array(
		(int) 0 => array(
			'Classified' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'ClassifiedPhoto' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		)
	),
	'featured_videos' => array(),
	'spotlight_videos' => array(
		(int) 0 => array(
			'Video' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'VideoTag' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'VideoLike' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'VideoFavorite' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'VideoComment' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'Post' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Notification' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Feed' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'TimelineFeed' => array([maximum depth reached])
		)
	),
	'link_featured_dbas' => array(),
	'link_spotlight_dbas' => array(
		(int) 0 => array(
			'Dba' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'DbaTag' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'DbaFavorite' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'DbaLike' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'DbaDislike' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Notification' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Feed' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'TimelineFeed' => array([maximum depth reached])
		)
	),
	'link_dbas' => array(
		(int) 0 => array(
			'Dba' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'DbaTag' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'DbaFavorite' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'DbaLike' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'DbaDislike' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Notification' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Feed' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'TimelineFeed' => array([maximum depth reached])
		)
	),
	'featured_dbas' => array(),
	'spotlight_dbas' => array(
		(int) 0 => array(
			'Dba' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'DbaTag' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'DbaFavorite' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'DbaLike' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'DbaDislike' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Notification' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Feed' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'TimelineFeed' => array([maximum depth reached])
		)
	),
	'banner_spotlight_dbas' => array(
		(int) 0 => array(
			'Dba' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'DbaTag' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'DbaFavorite' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'DbaLike' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'DbaDislike' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Notification' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Feed' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'TimelineFeed' => array([maximum depth reached])
		)
	),
	'banner_featured_dbas' => array(),
	'featured_groups' => array(),
	'spotlight_groups' => array(
		(int) 0 => array(
			'Group' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'GroupTag' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'GroupLike' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'GroupFavorite' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'GroupFeed' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'GroupDiscussion' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'GroupPhoto' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'GroupVideo' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'GroupPoll' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Notification' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Feed' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'TimelineFeed' => array([maximum depth reached])
		)
	),
	'user_obj' => array(
		'User' => array(
			'id' => '272',
			'username' => 'ilonmelkonyan',
			'firstname' => 'Ilona Melkonyan',
			'photo_id' => '2657',
			'photo_secret' => 'chx8kc7bkcqkb2a9kh1x',
			'online_status' => '0',
			'rank' => '1',
			'role' => '0',
			'user_role_id' => '36',
			'gender' => '1',
			'verify' => '1',
			'privacy' => '0',
			'joke_count' => '8',
			'invisible_mode' => '0',
			'cover_id' => '0',
			'cover_secret' => null,
			'birthday' => '1984-09-21',
			'friends' => '3'
		),
		'UserRole' => array(
			'id' => '36',
			'rank' => '16',
			'name' => 'Beauty_Salon'
		)
	),
	'tags' => array(
		(int) 0 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 1 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 2 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 3 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 4 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 5 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 6 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 7 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 8 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 9 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 10 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 11 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 12 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 13 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 14 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 15 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 16 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		),
		(int) 17 => array(
			'JokeTag' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			(int) 0 => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			)
		)
	),
	'max_count' => '2',
	'random' => '45147372425232432136',
	'favorite_jokes_count' => (int) 0,
	'jokes' => array(
		(int) 0 => array(
			'Joke' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeCategorie' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeTag' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeLike' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeFavorite' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeComment' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'Notification' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Feed' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'TimelineFeed' => array([maximum depth reached])
		),
		(int) 1 => array(
			'Joke' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeCategorie' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeTag' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeLike' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeFavorite' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeComment' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'Notification' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Feed' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'TimelineFeed' => array([maximum depth reached])
		),
		(int) 2 => array(
			'Joke' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeCategorie' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeTag' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeLike' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeFavorite' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeComment' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Notification' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Feed' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'TimelineFeed' => array([maximum depth reached])
		),
		(int) 3 => array(
			'Joke' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeCategorie' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeTag' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeLike' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeFavorite' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeComment' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Notification' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Feed' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'TimelineFeed' => array([maximum depth reached])
		),
		(int) 4 => array(
			'Joke' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeCategorie' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeTag' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeLike' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeFavorite' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeComment' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Notification' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Feed' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'TimelineFeed' => array([maximum depth reached])
		),
		(int) 5 => array(
			'Joke' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeCategorie' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeTag' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeLike' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeFavorite' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeComment' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'Notification' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Feed' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'TimelineFeed' => array([maximum depth reached])
		),
		(int) 6 => array(
			'Joke' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeCategorie' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeTag' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeLike' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeFavorite' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeComment' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Notification' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Feed' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'TimelineFeed' => array([maximum depth reached])
		),
		(int) 7 => array(
			'Joke' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeCategorie' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'User' => array(
				[maximum depth reached]
			),
			'JokeTag' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeLike' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeFavorite' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'JokeComment' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Notification' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'Feed' => array([maximum depth reached]),
			'TimelineFeed' => array([maximum depth reached])
		)
	),
	'title_for_content' => 'Jokes : Ilona Melkonyan',
	'url_options' => array(
		(int) 0 => 'ilonmelkonyan'
	),
	'user_balance' => (int) 0,
	'layout_friend_request' => (int) 0,
	'new_ratings_count' => (int) 0,
	'notifications_count' => (int) 0,
	'layout_gifts_count' => (int) 0,
	'layout_emails_count' => (int) 0,
	'site_action' => 'index',
	'site_controller' => 'jokes',
	'gplus_login' => 'https://accounts.google.com/o/oauth2/auth?response_type=code&access_type=online&client_id=169457664725-q5fmpr46lntnntfr35u12ob3ci2qnmgc.apps.googleusercontent.com&redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fi-armenian.com%2Fusers%2Fgp_callback&state&scope=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.googleapis.com%2Fauth%2Fplus.login%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.googleapis.com%2Fauth%2Fuserinfo.email&approval_prompt=auto',
	'fb_login' => 'https://www.facebook.com/v2.2/dialog/oauth?client_id=236521413755726&state=f8a41baff16f7debbd622fa6e65ae56e&response_type=code&sdk=php-sdk-5.6.2&redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fi-armenian.com%2Fusers%2Ffb_callback&scope=email',
	'url2' => 'https://jazve.com',
	'base_url' => 'https://i-armenian.com'
)
$user_object = array()
$user_menu = object(Menu) {
	useTable => false
	id => ''
	menu_class => false
	links => array(
		(int) 0 => object(Link) {},
		(int) 1 => object(Link) {}
	)
	selected => false
	useDbConfig => 'default'
	displayField => null
	data => array()
	schemaName => null
	table => false
	primaryKey => null
	validate => array()
	validationErrors => array()
	validationDomain => null
	tablePrefix => null
	plugin => null
	name => null
	alias => null
	tableToModel => array()
	cacheQueries => false
	belongsTo => array()
	hasOne => array()
	hasMany => array()
	hasAndBelongsToMany => array()
	actsAs => null
	Behaviors => null
	whitelist => array()
	cacheSources => true
	findQueryType => null
	recursive => (int) 1
	order => null
	virtualFields => array()
	__backAssociation => array()
	__backInnerAssociation => array()
	__backOriginalAssociation => array()
	__backContainableAssociation => array()
	__safeUpdateMode => false
	useConsistentAfterFind => true
	findMethods => array(
		'all' => true,
		'first' => true,
		'count' => true,
		'neighbors' => true,
		'list' => true,
		'threaded' => true
	)
	class => 'top-menu'
	[protected] _schema => null
	[protected] _associationKeys => array(
		'belongsTo' => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		),
		'hasOne' => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		),
		'hasMany' => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		),
		'hasAndBelongsToMany' => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		)
	)
	[protected] _associations => array(
		(int) 0 => 'belongsTo',
		(int) 1 => 'hasOne',
		(int) 2 => 'hasMany',
		(int) 3 => 'hasAndBelongsToMany'
	)
	[protected] _insertID => null
	[protected] _sourceConfigured => false
	[protected] _eventManager => null
	[protected] _validator => null
}
$menu = object(Menu) {
	useTable => false
	id => 'nav'
	menu_class => false
	links => array(
		(int) 0 => object(Link) {},
		(int) 1 => object(Link) {},
		(int) 2 => object(Link) {}
	)
	selected => '/profile/ilonmelkonyan'
	useDbConfig => 'default'
	displayField => null
	data => array()
	schemaName => null
	table => false
	primaryKey => null
	validate => array()
	validationErrors => array()
	validationDomain => null
	tablePrefix => null
	plugin => null
	name => null
	alias => null
	tableToModel => array()
	cacheQueries => false
	belongsTo => array()
	hasOne => array()
	hasMany => array()
	hasAndBelongsToMany => array()
	actsAs => null
	Behaviors => null
	whitelist => array()
	cacheSources => true
	findQueryType => null
	recursive => (int) 1
	order => null
	virtualFields => array()
	__backAssociation => array()
	__backInnerAssociation => array()
	__backOriginalAssociation => array()
	__backContainableAssociation => array()
	__safeUpdateMode => false
	useConsistentAfterFind => true
	findMethods => array(
		'all' => true,
		'first' => true,
		'count' => true,
		'neighbors' => true,
		'list' => true,
		'threaded' => true
	)
	class => 'nav navbar-nav'
	[protected] _schema => null
	[protected] _associationKeys => array(
		'belongsTo' => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		),
		'hasOne' => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		),
		'hasMany' => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		),
		'hasAndBelongsToMany' => array(
			[maximum depth reached]
		)
	)
	[protected] _associations => array(
		(int) 0 => 'belongsTo',
		(int) 1 => 'hasOne',
		(int) 2 => 'hasMany',
		(int) 3 => 'hasAndBelongsToMany'
	)
	[protected] _insertID => null
	[protected] _sourceConfigured => false
	[protected] _eventManager => null
	[protected] _validator => null
}
$featured_classifieds = array(
	(int) 0 => array(
		'Classified' => array(
			'id' => '25',
			'user_id' => '47',
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			'name' => 'К нам приехал... - Джемма Халид',
			'description' => 'Больше хорошей музыки - подписывайтесь на канал -
http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=LAMINORonTV

К нам приехал... - Джемма Халид

Присоединяйтесь к телеканалу Ля Минор:
Сайт - http://laminortv.ru
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/groups/laminortv
Одноклассники - http://www.odnoklassniki.ru/group/50939441578135',
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			'topic' => 'Christmas Jokes
Q. What do Santa’s elves learn in school?
A. The Elfabet.
Q. What does Santa like to do in the garden?
A. Hoe, hoe, hoe!
Q: What do Santa’s elves drive?
A: Minivans.
Q: What do Santa’s elves drink?
A: Minnesoda.
Q: What is Claustrophobia?
A: The fear of Santa Claus.
Q: What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?
A: Snowflakes.
Q: What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?
A: Sandy Claws.
Q: Where does the snowman hide his money?
A: In the snow bank.
Q: What type of cars do elves drive?
A: Toy-otas.
Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
A: It needed to be trimmed.
Q: What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
A: Holly Davidson.
Q: What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
A: Saint Nickel-less.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!
Q: What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?
A: Santa paws!!!
Q: What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?
A: Silent night!
Q: What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A: A pineapple!
Q: What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?
A: Ice cream.
Q: Why do mummys like the holidays?
A: Becuse of all the wrapping!
Q: Why don’t aliens celebrate Chistmas?
A: Because they don’t want to give away their presence.
Q: When does New Year’s Day come before Christmas Day?
A: Every year!
Q: Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?
A: Because he is so cool!
Q.Which reindeer likes to clean?
A.Comet',
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			'topic' => 'Halloween Jokes
Q: What do ghosts eat for supper?
A: Spooketi
Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it’s Halloween!!
Q: What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
A: Spelling.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
A: His heart wasn’t in it.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn’t have any guts!
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
A: Because he had no BODY to go with.
Q: What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?
A: “Trike or Treat”?
Q: What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A: A plumpkin.
Q: What room does a ghost not need?
A: A living room!
Q: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A: Because you can see right through them!
Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
A: His “ghoul” friend!
Q: Why is Superman’s costume so tight?
A: Because he wears a size “S”.
Q: What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
A: Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
Q: What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?
A: A sandwich!
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A nectarine!
“Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf.”
“Please be quiet and comb your face.”
Q: What kind of dessert does a ghost like?
A: I scream!
Q: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
A: When you’re a mouse.
Q: What do birds say on Halloween?
A: Twick o tweet
Q: What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?
A: A cocker poodle boo.
Q: What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
A: Mummies!
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite fruit?
A: Booberries!
Q: What does a skeleton say before dinner?
A: Bone appetit!
Q: What does a witch use to keep her hair up?
A: Scarespray!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
A: Boo-Jeans.
Q: Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
A: Because they have a lot of spirit.
Q: What did one owl say to the other owl?
A: Happy Owl-ween!
Q: Why is a skeleton so mean?
A: He doesn’t have a heart.
Q: What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
A: A fence.
Q: What did the ghost say to the other ghost?
A: Do you believe in humans?
Q: What do vampires take when they are sick?
A: Coffin drops!
Q: What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
A: Count Quackula!
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite pie?
A: Booberry pie!
Q: Where do ghosts buy their food?
A: At the ghost-ery store!',
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			'topic' => 'Easter Jokes
Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
A: Do you want to grab a bite?
Q: Where is a rabbit’s favorite place to eat?
A: Ihop
Q: What did one egg say to the other egg?
A: Let’s get ',
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A: She stole his heart.
Q: How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
A: Because he wanted sweet dreams.
Q. What did one volcano say to the other?
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			'user_id' => '272',
			'topic' => 'Animal Jokes
Q: Why did the cat go to Minnesota?
A: To get a mini soda!
———-
Q: Where do orcas hear music?
A: Orca-stras!
———-
Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.
———-
Q: What do you call a fish without an eye?
A: Fsh!
———-
Q: What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
A: Take the words out of his mouth!
———-
Q: What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A: A chili dog on a bun.
———-
Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
———-
Q: Where do mice park their boats?
A: At the hickory dickory dock.
———-
Q: Where did the sheep go on vacation?
A: The baaaahamas
———-
Q: What do you call a thieving alligator?
A: A crookodile
———-
Q: What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?
A: A watch dog.
———-
Q: What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A: A lawn moo-er.
———-
Q: What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
A: Lilly.
———-
Q: How does a dog stop a video?
A: He presses the paws button.
———-
Q: Why do cows go to New York?
A: To see the moosicals!
———-
Q: What do you call lending money to a bison?
A: A buff-a-loan
———-
Q: What is the snake’s favorite subject?
A: Hiss-story
———-
Q: What is black ,white and red all over?
A: A sunburnt penguin!
———-
Q: Why does a dog wag its tail?
A: Because there’s no one else to wag it for him.
———-
Q: What is a cat’s favorite movie?
A: The sound of Mew-sic!
———-
Q: How do you make a goldfish old?
A: Take away the g!
———-
Q: Why did the lamb cross the road?
A: To get to the baaaaarber shop!
———-
Q: How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
A: Squeaky clean!
———-
Q: What has four legs and goes “Oom, Oom”?
A: A cow walking backwards!
———-
Q: Where do you put barking dogs?
A: In a barking lot.
———-
Q: What do you call a pig that’s been arrested for dangerous driving?
A: A road hog.
———-
Q: What is a cheetahs favorite food?
A: Fast food!
———-
A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
———-
Q: What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?
A: Me-ow!
———-
Q: What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear!
———-
Q: Why did the dog cross the road twice?
A: He was trying to fetch a boomerang!
———-
Q: What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
A: Its shadow!
———-
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A: Porkchop!
———-
Q: Where does an elephant pack his luggage?
A: In his trunk!
———-
Q: There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
A: None, because they were copycats!
———-
Q: Which day do fish hate?
A: Fryday!
———-
Q: What do you call a cow in a tornado?
A: A milkshake!
———-
Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing, peanuts don’t talk.
———-
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No I deer!
———-
Q: Why was the cat afraid of a tree?
A: Because of the bark!
———-
Q: How are elephants and trees alike?
A: They both have trunks!
———-
Q: What do you call an exploding monkey?
A: A baboom!
———-
Q: What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A: Stuck!
———-
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer!
———-
Q. How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
A. Put him in the front seat.
———-
Q: What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A: A car only has one horn.
———-
Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
A: Do you want to grab a bite?
———-
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
A: Time to get a new bed!
———-
Q: Where does a ten ton elephant sit?
A: Anywhere it wants to!
———-
Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon!
———-
Q: What do you get when you plant a frog?
A: A cr-oak tree.
———-
Q: What is the quietest kind of a dog?
A: A hush puppy.
———-
Q: How is a dog like a telephone?
A: It has a collar I.D.
———-
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work.
———-
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said “moo” and the second cow said “baaaa.” The first cow asked the second cow, “why did you say baaaa?” The second cow said, “I’m learning a foreign language.”
———-
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!
———-
Q: Why do you bring fish to a party?
A: Because it goes good with chips.
———-
Q: What would happen if pigs could fly?
A: The price of bacon would go up.
———-
Q: How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?
A: Take away his shovel!
———-
Q: What did the frog say when he heard “time flies when you are having fun?”
A: Time is fun when you’re having flies!
———-
Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
A: It gave a little wine!
———-
Q: Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?
A: To hide in a bag of M&M’s.
———-
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut!
———-
Q: Where do fish keep their money?
A: In a river bank!
———-
A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent, the deer didn’t have a buck so they put the meal on the duck’s bill.
———-
Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!
———-
Q: What kind of cat should you never play games with?
A: A cheetah!
———-
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the shell station.
———-
Q: What is black and white and red all over?
A: A skunk with a rash.
———-
Q: What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?
A: Five after one.
———-
Q: What do whales eat?
A: Fish and ships.
———-
Q: What part of a fish weighs the most?
A: The scales.
———-
Q: What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?
A: A tyrannosauraus wreck!
———-
Q: What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
A: The banana split!
———-
Q: What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can’t tuna fish.
———-
Q: What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
A: Anything you like, he can’t hear you.
———-
Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
———-
Q: How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
A: With flood lighting.
———-
Q: What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
A: With a cowculator.
———-
Q: What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
A: An udder failure.
———-
Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: Because the chicken was on vacation.
———-
Q: What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
A: As far away as possible.
———-
Q: What did the sardine call the submarine?
A: A can of people.
———-
Q: What fish only swims at night?
A: A starfish.
———-
Q: Why did the elephant leave the circus?
A: He was tired of working for peanuts.
———-
There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, “moo” and the other one says, “That’s what I was going to say.”
———-
Customer: “Do you have alligator shoes?”
Clerk: “Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?”
———-
Q: What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?
A: A woolen jumper!
———-
Q: What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
A: Glass flippers.
———-
Q: Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
A: Catfish
———-
Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny.
———-
Q: How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A: A phew.
———-
Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
A: He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
———-
Q: How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
A: Plug its nose.
———-
Q: What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?
A: A mouse on vacation.
———-
Q: What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?
A: Sir.
———-
Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A blushing zebra.
———-
Q: What is a cow’s favorite place?
A: The mooseum.
———-
Q: What do fish take to stay healthy?
A: Vitamin sea.
———-
Q: What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?
A: Decalfinated!
———-
Q: What do you call a mad elephant?
A: An earthquake.
———-
Q: What is a shark’s favorite sandwich?
A: Peanut butter and jellyfish.
———-
Q: Where are sharks from?
A: Finland.
———-
Q: What is King Arthur’s favorite fish?
A: A swordfish
———-
Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
A: He made an illegal ewe turn.
———-
Q: What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?
A: A coat of arms.
———-
Q: What kind of dog always runs a fever?
A: A hot dog!
———-
Q: What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?
A: Bison!
———-
Q: What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.
A: A cow on a skateboard.
———-
Q: Why don’t bears wear shoes?
A: What’s the use, they’d still have bear feet!
———-
Q: What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?
A: A shampoodle!
———-
Q: What does a calf become after it’s 1 year old?
A: 2 years old.
———-
Cow: “Mooooove over!”
Sheep: “Naaaaaaa.”
———-
Q: How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
A: There are footprints in the butter.
———-
Q: Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
A: Because his feet stink!
———-
Q: What’s a dog’s favorite food for breakfast?
A: Pooched eggs.
———-
Q: What do you give a pig with a rash?
A: Oinkment.
———-
Q: What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
A: Use a pen.
———-
Q: What’s black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
A: Three skunks fighting over a pickle!
———-
First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy!
———-
Q: What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?
A: A computer mouse.
———-
Q: What do you call a dog with a Rolex?
A: A watch dog.
———-
Q: What pine has the longest needles?
A: A porcupine.
———-
Q: What’s worse than a centipede with athlete’s foot?
A: A porcupine with split ends!
———-
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: The chicken wasn’t around yet.
———-
Q: What kind of cars do cats drive?
A: Catillacs!
———-
Q: What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?
A: A buck.
———-
Q: What’s a frog’s favorite drink?
A: Croak-a-cola.
———-
Q: What’s an alligator’s favorite drink?
A: Gator-Ade.
———-
Q: What do you call snake with no clothes on?
A: Snaked.
———-
Q: What did the dog say to the flea?
A: Stop bugging me!
———-
Q: Where do cows go on Saturday night?
A: To the mooooooovies.
———-
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: A try and try and try-ceratops!
———-
Q: What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
A: A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
———-
Q: What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?
A: A kitten.
———-
Q: Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A: A dino-sewer.
———-
Q: What did the snail say when he got on the turtle’s shell?
A: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
———-
Q: Where do sheep get their hair cut?
A: At the baa-baa shop.
———-
Q: Why can’t hippos ride bicycles?
A: Bike helmets don’t fit hippos!
———-
Q: What’s a puppy’s favorite kind of pizza?
A: Pupperoni.
———-
Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A sunburnt zebra.
———-
Q: What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?
A: The police had to comb the area.
———-
Q: What do camels use to hide themselves?
A: Camelflauge!
———-
Q: What do you call a messy hippo?
A: A hippopota-mess!
———-
Q: What do you call a cow that twitches?
A: Beef jerky
———-
Q: What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A: Is that you mommy?
———-
Q: What is a lion’s favorite state?
A: Maine
———-
Q: Where do horses live?
A: In the neigh-borhood.
———-
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Because they don’t fit on a ironing board!
———-
Q: What is a cat’s favorite breakfast?
A: Mice krispies
———-
Q: What is a frog’s favorite year?
A: Leap Year
———-
Q: What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?
A: A Dogwood!
———-
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A: A swordfish!
———-
Q: What is a horse’s favorite sport?
A: Stable tennis!
———-
Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they are black and white.
———-
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
———-
Q: What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?
A: A dino-sore!
———-
Q: What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?
A: Squash!
 
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			'topic' => 'Bird Jokes
Q: When should you buy a bird?
A: When it’s going cheep!
Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
Q: What is green and pecks on trees?
A: Woody the Wood Pickle.
Q: There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?
A: Roosters don’t lay eggs!
Q: Why did the bird get a ticket?
A: It broke the law of gravity!
Q: What do you call a chicken in the 1960’s?
A: A funky chicken.
Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls!
Q: How do you catch a unique bird?
A: Unique up on it.
Q: How do you catch a tame bird?
A: The tame way, unique up on it!
Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
A: With its sparrowchute.
Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment.
Q: Why does a stork stand on one leg?
A: Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
Q: How did the bubble gum cross the road?
A: On the bottom of the chicken’s foot!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?
A: He was a dirty double crosser!
Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?
A: Because they don’t know the words.
Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: He got caught peeping on a test.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?
A: To get to the other size!
Q: Why do ducks fly south?
A: Because it’s too far to walk!
Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
There was a duck who walked into a store and said, “got any candy?” The storekeeper said, “no, we don’t.” The next day, the duck went into the same store and asked the same thing and got the same anwer. The duck kept going back every day for a week and asked the same thing and kept getting the same answer until the store keeper got so angry he said, “if you come in here and ask that again, I will hit you on the head with a hammer!” The next day, the duck walks into the store and asks, “got a hammer?” The store keeper says, “no.” Then the duck asks, “got any candy?”
Q: What does a cat call a hummingbird?
A: Fast food.
Q: What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?
A: He was catching all the chickens!
Q: How do chickens get strong?
A: Egg-cersize.
Q: How do crows stick together in a flock?
A: Velcrow.
Q: What did one egg say to the other egg?
A: Let’s get crackin’!
Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers.
Q: Why didn’t the rooster cross the road?
A: Because it was chicken.
Q: What robs you while you’re in the bathtub?
A: A robber ducky.
Q: Why did Mozart sell his chickens?
A: Because they kept saying “bach bach”!
Q: How did the egg cross the road?
A: It scrambled across!
Q: What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A: A polygon
Q: What do you call a sad bird?
A: A bluebird!
Q: Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?
A: So he could grade his eggs.
Q: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
A: Owlgebra
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			'topic' => 'Knock Knock Jokes for Kids
Written by: Earl Edwards
Narrated by: Kirk Hanley
Length: 17 mins 
Unabridged Audiobook
More ▼
Hey guys, are you ready to yuck it up and bond with your little rascals? This joke book is filled with good clean jokes that have been kid tested and kid approved. Yes we know they can be silly but everyone loves a good knock knock joke. Stimulate their creativity and build their growing vocabulary with this hilarious joke book. Get ready for hours of fun and laughter on your next car trip. encourage them to come up with thier own jokes too. Knock Knock. Who's there? Walter. Walter who? Walter you waiting for?
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			'topic' => 'Ապարանցին գնում է ատամնաբուժի մոտ. Բժիշկն ասում է ասա ԱԱԱԱԱԱԱԱԱ:
Ապարանցին հարցնում է , - Բժիշկ ջան մեծատառ, թե փոքրատառ:

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View::_renderElement() - CORE/Cake/View/View.php, line 1224
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